Exploring the Opposite | Commitments of Conscious Leadership #10

The Conscious Leadership Group (CLG) finds that most challenges with which businesses struggle come from people believing they are right about the way they perceive situations, one another, or themselves.

You will better understand this if you select an issue in your life with which you are struggling.  If you dig a little deeper you will most likely find that it is your desire to be right about that issue that is the underlying problem.  For example it might relate to your need to control how your team communicates with you – your need to be right about how they should communicate.  But what if you were to turn this problem around and rather than fight against it, ask yourself if you are absolutely sure that the way you feel they should communicate is the right way.  Often what causes us aggravation is the need to be right and trying to force something to be other than what it is – or to force someone to be something other than what they are. The “my way or the highway” mindset.

One of the reasons we suggest that our clients take the Kolbe A Index is that it measures your instinctive way of doing things – your method of operation.  So often people find that when taking the assessment, their results relieve their frustration because suddenly they realize that they have been forcing themselves to be something other than who they are.  As the CLG points out, it often isn’t the issue that causes frustration and pain, but your interpretation of it.  If you have been pushing yourself to act in opposition to your instinctive method of operation, it is your interpretation of how you think you should operate and yet it will probably cause you great frustration.  Their advice is to realize that life doesn’t have a label until we give it one.

Aim to be a conscious leader – they take responsibility for being the labeler of life and they also learn to question all the labels.  Challenge the part of you who wants to hold on to being right – which is merely the impulse of our ego.  The CLG recommends “The Work” of Byron Katie as she created a simple way to help people examine the beliefs that cause stressful thoughts and become curious about all the possibilities of life by remaining unattached to any outcome.  She suggests certain exercises to help leaders practice shifting their beliefs from knowing to curiosity and support their true desires. Conscious leaders make it a practice to question the beliefs that cause stress by asking “Is it true?” and “Can I absolutely know it is true?”

Conscious leaders do not let their egos get in the way and stay open to learning and questioning what is causing those stressful thoughts and then being willing to exchange the need to be right for the freedom from that stress.  Commit to the exploration and be open to considering the opposite of your thoughts, beliefs or opinions. And remind yourself that “One point of view is too small for the whole truth.”

Previous Iterations of Commitments of Conscious Leadership

Are You Committed to Curiosity?

Sustaining Leadership Success Through Emotional Intelligence

Management Skills vs Leadership Skills

Candid Communication Leads to Successful Teams

The Lure of Gossip

Are You Really Practicing Integrity?

Learning to Give and Accept Appreciation

Are You Excelling in Your Zone of Genius?

Are You Living a Life of Play and Rest?

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Drue Lawlor

Director of Business Transformation Coaching Drue leads our coaching and consulting. As a NCIDQ certified designer she and Gail co-developed the 12-month Strategic Business Transformation Group Coaching. The program leads the way in teaching designers how to build or redesign their businesses for profit and success. Outside of Gail Doby Coaching and Consulting she is the co-founder of Boomers with a Plan B. She is driven to help clients create a safer and healthier homes. You’ll find her in Senior Magazine and a contributor to the following books: Design for Aging: Post Occupancy Evaluations and Interior Graphic Standards, second edition.
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